Motherhood is a beautiful journey but can also be overwhelming, especially when you have a 2-year-old toddler and a 4-month-old infant. The demands are constant, and finding time for yourself can seem impossible. But self-care, as I’ve learned, is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. In Islam, we’re entrusted with our bodies, minds, and souls as an Amanah (trust) from Allah. Caring for ourselves isn’t just about getting through the day; it’s about nurturing our souls and preparing for the aakhirah. In this blog, I want to share how I’ve woven self-care into the fabric of my daily life, turning moments of chaos into opportunities for growth and connection.
1. Evening Routine: Embracing the Sunnah
Our evening routine has been a game-changer. By winding down early, following the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), we create a peaceful transition from the day’s hustle to the tranquillity of the night. After Maghrib, we gather for dinner, and then my husband and I divide bedtime duties—he puts our toddler to bed while I care for our infant. These moments of quiet after the children are asleep are precious. We tidy up, have meaningful conversations, and reconnect as a couple. In these moments, I find the calm I need to reset and prepare for the next day.
2. Co-sleeping for Restful Nights
Co-sleeping with my exclusively breastfed baby allows me to rest more easily. It’s not just about convenience; it’s about responding to her needs without fully waking up, which helps us get better sleep. But as she grows, I know that transitioning to separate bedding will help maintain this restful environment. For moms, it’s important to find that balance between closeness and the quality of rest, both for your baby and yourself.
3. The Power of Morning: A Sacred Time for Me
One of the most sacred times in my day is the quiet morning after Fajr. While many might use their child’s naptime to catch up on chores or cooking, I choose this time for myself. While feeding my infant, I immerse myself in reading the Qur’an, studying for my MSc in Psychology, or journaling my thoughts. This is my “me time”—a time to nourish my soul and focus on my growth. The chores can wait because this time is about centring myself, connecting with my faith, and preparing for the day ahead.
4. Involving My Toddler in the Day: Turning Chores into Connection
When my toddler wakes up, our day begins together. I’ve found that involving her in daily tasks like cooking and cleaning turns these chores into moments of connection. Instead of seeing them as distractions, I see them as opportunities to teach, bond, and play. One of my favourite parts of the day is when we’re in the kitchen together. Here’s a little poem I wrote that captures this special time:
Poem: “Growing Independence”
Little hands reach out to play,
In their world, they lead the way.
Tiny feet, so firm and proud,
Eager steps, they shout out loud.
“Let me do it, let me try,
In every task, I’ll touch the sky.
I’m small but strong, watch me soar,
I’ll learn and grow, explore some more.”
In every stir, every tiny grip,
Fine motor skills take a giant leap.
Confidence blooms with each small deed,
A growing heart, so full of need.
In the kitchen, words take flight,
Learning new things feels just right.
Spatulas, bowls, and pans galore,
Their little minds absorb and store.
And as they work beside your space,
You watch them close; you see their grace.
No mess elsewhere, no need to fear,
For they’re with you, safe and near.
So let them help, let them be,
Involved and happy, wild and free.
For in these tasks, they find their way,
Learning, growing, day by day.
Including your children in your daily tasks can transform mundane chores into meaningful experiences. It’s a beautiful way to bond and teach them valuable life skills.
5. Making the Most of Naptime: Prioritizing Self-Care
When my toddler naps after Fajr, instead of diving into housework, I protect this time fiercely for myself. Many moms might think, “Oh, the child is sleeping, I can finally get some work done.” But I see this as a time to recharge my batteries. Whether it’s taking a moment to breathe, read, or simply enjoy the quiet, this is my time. I can always involve my toddler in cooking and other housework when she’s awake, which keeps her engaged and makes these tasks less stressful.
6. The Carrier: My Secret Weapon
When my infant gets fussy during the day, especially while I’m cooking, my carrier is my secret weapon. Keeping her close while I go about my tasks allows me to maintain a rhythm. During this time, I often listen to enriching lectures or catch up with friends and family, which nurtures my soul and mental well-being. For new moms, investing in a good, infant-friendly carrier is one of the best decisions you can make—it truly goes a long way in making daily life smoother.
Conclusion: Self-care is Essential, Not Selfish
Motherhood is a journey of love, sacrifice, and growth. But to give your best to your children, you must also give to yourself. Fill your cup generously so you can pour it out generously. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. By prioritizing your spiritual, mental, and physical well-being, you’re better equipped to care for your family. Remember, every small act of self-care is an investment in your aakhirah. How do you find time for yourself amid motherhood? I’d love to hear your thoughts and tips—let’s inspire each other on this beautiful journey. #LetsTalk
Mashallah, thank you sister Juveriya! We need to support and remind each other of this regularly because we become distorted in our thinking and unable to say no in order to preserve our energies. Most definitely our souls are an Amanah (trust) from Allah, and some of us are more careful when we are entrusted with a friend’s cat or property than we are with our own souls, so it really is about changing our mindset and setting our intentions right. We ask Allah for tawfiq.
Jazakillah khair for your thoughtful comment! As moms, we often prioritize everything and everyone else over ourselves, forgetting that our own well-being is a trust from Allah too. Your analogy about being more careful with a friend’s cat or property than our own souls is so powerful and true. Embracing self-care is about realigning our mindset and intentions to ensure we have the energy and presence to fulfill our roles in the best way. May Allah grant us the tawfiq to care for ourselves as He has entrusted us to do, ameen.
Mashallah this is a beautiful reminder. Too often in our Muslim communities we have women who are self-sacrificing martyrs. This is unhealthy as it becomes resentful. Mom’s, teachers, sisters become angry and bitter. This is why self are is essential. It allows us to keep giving to those around us with love and care, from the heart. Yes it is challenging, but a beautiful challenge, Alhamdulillah. When we neglect our own care, the beauty and love drains from those acts. We have to remain conscious of giving and doing from a place of love inshallah, and for that to happen we must priorities self care. Shukran for your helpful insights.
Jazakillah khair for your heartfelt reflection! You’ve captured the essence of why self-care is so vital, especially in our roles as mothers, teachers, and sisters. The notion of being self-sacrificing martyrs can indeed lead to resentment and burnout, which not only affects us but also those we care for. As you beautifully said, self-care allows us to give with love and sincerity from the heart, making our efforts truly meaningful. It’s a challenge, but one that brings immense barakah when approached with the right intentions. May Allah help us all to prioritize our well-being so we can continue to give from a place of love and compassion, ameen. Thank you for sharing your valuable insights.
Alhamdulillah.. Jazakallahu khairan for the beautiful much needed reminders for new moms especially those who are in nuclear families hustling between chores, tarbiyah for the kids and well-being of the family. This self care is a necessity for every female, married, newly married or a mom. You brought this up in a very beautiful concise manner. Much appreciated. Loads of love and peace to your journey of Motherhood. May Allah make it easier for us all mothers.
Wa iyyaki! Alhamdulillah, I’m so grateful that the message resonated with you. Being a new mom, especially in a nuclear family setup, can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to forget about taking care of ourselves amidst all the responsibilities. But as you rightly said, self-care is essential for every woman, no matter her stage in life. May Allah make our journeys of motherhood easier and fill them with love, patience, and peace. Thank you for your kind words and du’as. Sending you lots of love and prayers for your own beautiful journey of motherhood. Ameen!