Summarized by Mazeedatulkhayr Yaqub
One of the essential qualities of a believer is curbing the ego.
The ego is the feeling that makes you feel different and special from everyone else. Ego is hostility, pride, jealousy, resentment, intolerance, anger etc. According to Islam, ego is about belittling others.
Ibn ‘Abbas informed Ibn az-Zubayr, “I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘He is not a believer whose stomach is filled while his neighbor goes hungry.’” Sahih (Al-Albani). Reference : Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 112.
This reminds us that to earn Allah’s approval, we must always check in on our immediate neighbours to know they are in a good state. We must assume responsibility for resolving the problems of others around us.
Empathizing with others, treating the needy with affection, and showing respect and love, makes it possible to eliminate cruelty and selfishness which thus prevents having an egoistic attitude. This is backed up in the Quran – Surah 4 verse 36. Allah says: “Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him. Be good to your parents and relatives, orphans and the very poor, and to neighbours who are related to you and those that aren’t, and to your companions and travellers and your servants. Allah does not love anyone vain or boastful.
Allah says in the Quran – Surah 2 verse 87 “Is it not a fact that every messenger went to you with anything you disliked, your ego caused you to be arrogant? Some of them you rejected, some of them you killed”. This tells us that following our ego causes us to be arrogant to the extent of rejecting Allah’s messengers. Allah tells us in several verses not to treat
people with arrogance and this teaches us to learn about humility. Those who succumb to their egos may be sent astray by Allah.
As Muslims, we should be aware and mindful of the following:
- Good fortune is not your own doing – everything good is from Allah.
- Thinking of being self-sufficient is a disease in the heart.
- We are all dependent on Allah. You cannot do anything without Allah
- Thinking that you are not dependent on Allah is a dangerous attitude to have.
- Pride and Ego are the main obstacles in acquiring good in our lives. Allah wants us to be humble.
- This habit needs to be cultivated. The evidence for this is in the Quran – Surah 2 verse 45 “And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive to Allah.
The common term for ego used in the Quran and Sunnah is “Kibr”. And this can be a reason to not enter Jannah. The prophet SAW said, “One does not enter Jannah who has in his heart a mustard seed’s weight of Kibr (Ego)”. Muslim. The companions were terrified by this statement. One of them asked the prophet: “I like my dress to be clean and my shoes to be
clean” The prophet PBUH replied: “That is not it. Allah is beautiful and He likes beauty” Then He went on explaining “Kibr is rejecting the truth and belittling people” Muslim.
We should remember the story of Iblees where He was commanded to prostrate to Prophet Adam, but he was arrogant. We don’t want to imitate Iblees in our character. It is the subjugation and destruction of ego that is considered the key to one’s salvation. We need to destroy our ego, and this will lead to higher moral character.
Looking at the prophet (PBUH’s) character: He never let ego come in the way. If one of his wives got angry, he listened attentively. He smiled very often, he served his family by doing some household chores, he never reciprocated harshness nor took revenge. He was simple and modest, he refrained from demanding any outward show of respect, he warned his followers against praising him excessively. He was so humble and accessible and never considered any courteous deed
as insignificant. There are so many stories from the seerah that support this statement.
The Prophet’s humility was Par Excellence. And these examples of the Prophet should motivate us to curb ego and be humble. Never allow ego to control our words and actions.
As Muslims, we should be aware and mindful of the following:
- You feel happy when others’ faults or flaws are being discussed.
- Blaming others when things don’t work as you wish.
- Setting up unrealistic goals and feeling bad when not being able to accomplish them.
- Feeling down even at small losses.
- Bragging about oneself.
- Feeling jealous of others’ best performance.
- Comparing yourself to a weaker and with a stronger person.
- Winning is the key even in an agreement.
Some Ways to Curb Your Ego
- Actively listen before responding.
- Do menial tasks but don’t see them as menial.
- Practice forgiveness and letting go.
- Practice gratitude to Allah and to people. Be content with the little things you have.
- Do not belittle others.
- Stop the boastful talk, stop bragging. Don’t constantly talk about how great you are.
- Get rid of the need to win and be right.
- Overcome the need to feel superior and the need for accomplishment.
- Stop complaining.
- Do good to others – even small gestures. Compliment others.
- Don’t get personal when someone says something bad. Learn to be at peace with yourself.
- Accept all your mistakes, be aware of your limitations. No one is perfect, apologize.
If you have ego, make the decision to change and be humble; for if you strive for that, then Allah’s help will be with you. Destroy your ego before it destroys you. And to overcome our egos, practice humility always.
May Allah make us kind, and generous, and practice gratitude for all the things that we are blessed with.
